Today was hard.
The emotions of all of this really hit me last night. I didn’t sleep much. I woke up with very little motivation to get out of bed. A good friend texted me to check on me and through a discussion she coaxed me back into real life. She pulled me up by my bootstraps (as my mom would say). Then my sister came and visited. We cried together and got mad and got sad and just vented how this all feels. It was good. It reminded me that we are loved.
Despite all that I still broke down crying several random moments today. I think this is a normal way to process it all. I think this is expected in this situation. I don’t know.
With the help of many friends we were able to bring out all the animals from the farm yesterday. And we found a place for the chicks, they are there now. The rabbits are currently in the garage where we are staying. It is less than ideal. But we have found a long-term place for them to stay as well, it is just a matter of getting them there.
We are hoping to hike back in one more time to bring out a few final necessities that got overlooked (like my son’s retainer). We also want to clean up some – empty the fridge and freezers, get out anything that will rot. By get out I probably mean put it out for the scavengers to eat, I’m not sure how much we will be able to really take with us. I’m hoping to pick what I can from the garden – there are hundreds of carrots ready (we already picked the squash and most of the beans). And we will check on the basement flooding (yes, the basement flooded during all of this) and clean up any mess from that to try to prevent mold.
Lastly, we need to winterize the place. The first frost will be quickly upon us and without any utilities the house is going to freeze this winter and we don’t want broken pipes on top of everything else. So we have to drain pipes and stuff.
There are still very few answers as to what will happen and how long it will be. They were saying 8 weeks. They are now saying 3-9 months before we can get back in and live there. Many people are giving up. Many people don’t have much choice because they have nothing left. Many are choosing to leave and make a new start somewhere else.
We can’t imagine anything we want more than to be back at our homestead living our happy, adventurous, farm life. We will do everything we can to get back to that. Yes, we have lost some ground along this journey, and we might lose more before this disaster is over, but we are going to keep fighting to live this dream.